My Tragic Flaws

Reflection, one would think I would learn from it, however it is weird when it almost feels like reflection itself scares you. The thought that you depict your flaws every time you engage in the act, just discourages me from further investigation into my past actions. Yes, it is important to learn from mistakes, but the types of flaws I am talking about are not necessarily categorized under mistakes. well... I guess they are but they are ones that have become habits due to situations that seem to be stuck on a circular orbit around me.
Flaw one has been something I have struggled with for years, it is not just me, many members of my family deal with it and only recently has it really started to effect me. The frequent loss of air and tightness in my throat. Sense of panic and suffocation. It comes all to familiar now, panic/anxiety attacks that seem to control me more then i myself can at any given moment. How i have chosen to ignore them, have only seemed to increase their appearances.
Flaw two begins well...lets just say many years ago. The questioning. The disbelief. It seems to know just when to find me. Over analyzing, something I tend to do more then I would ever intend. Why ones mind would want to fret over anything for too long is beyond me, unfortunately mine must love it for how long I worry over the littlest things.
Flaw three, the final flaw, one that has recently been something I have been intrigued with. Wanting something, but batting it down when its right in front of me. Hoping for something I have more than likely surpassed many times before. Wondering why I am 18 and have yet to experience an actual relationship. Its not at all that i am searching for the love of my life, rather just curious as to how will i one day be able to have a relationship with that man if I have yet to learn how. I am kind of bummed pondering if I have maybe lost that chance, not knowing for sure if I have, but knowing that the possibility is out their. It worries me to think that what I am in search of could very well be my biggest fear...being treated right.
In all my flaws their is a light of breath, that breath is found in the fact that i am loved by the one and only Jesus Christ regardless. And while reflecting on these flaws I am comforted that what is to become of me is in the hands of a God much more immense then these flaws themselves.

Kdaivs.